Raising My Fist at the Universe
Fuck you universe! LOL
Wow! It’s been a crazy couple weeks huh?! The underlying energies have been WILD to navigate, not to mention all that is playing out on the world stage. I’ve been purposefully staying out of the political conversation on Substack. I have a clear channel here for a certain thread of my work, but I do pay attention and shit has been craaaazy!
Anyway…I still have one opening for 5 - 1hr sessions of Jungian Coaching by donation. Please DM me for more details if this interest you.
I’m getting more clear than ever lately, how our outer manifestations or lack thereof, often point us toward internal blockages and how much this feels like an emergent characteristic of the intelligence of the field itself, more than just a mere coincidence.
It’s like the closer I move toward what I think I desire, the object of my desire, the more deeply it highlights the internal wounding and blockages I need to clear to actually align with what I TRULY desire. Not what my wounding secretly, subconsciously tries to pull toward me, but what my Soul has in store for me. It would seem that we often get caught up, even fixated on the OBJECT of our desire. Yet, what we are headed for, what we’re on the path to manifesting, often has nothing to do with the literal object we got fixated on in the first place.
If you reach out for something, put energy toward something or move towards manifesting something, and it doesn’t manifest, what is your first response? Do you make it personal? Do you blame yourself? Does it remind you of every failed experiment you’ve ever run in your life? Maybe it reminds you of all the times you’ve been rejected or not well received. Maybe you feel not good enough or unworthy.
THIS is the material that needs to be worked with directly in the body/mind in order to move forward with true clarity in deep alignment with what is really meant for us.
It begs the question; How clear is my Dharma from all these tangled threads? Is it tied up in karmic knots? What kind of web am I really weaving here? Am I secretly trying to save myself from feeling certain things, from feeling my own stored wounds, by manifesting this object I am so fixated on?
It’s silly really once you write it out…
True manifestation occurs through becoming the person that matches the frequency of the manifestation, and it might not look on its face, like you thought it would. It occurs through bringing the subconscious and conscious mind into alignment. This is why when we desire with our conscious mind and it is out of alignment with our subconscious desire, we will attract the subconscious material to us, and it will look like the total opposite of what we said we wanted.
Or, if you find yourself in the midst of a manifested reality that is slapping you in the face and making you feel like utter dog shit, you might want to turn inward and look for that feeling in your own body. It just might be that that stored feeling was there long before the outer manifestation reflected it back to you.
This realization pisses me off, because it seems like it’s saying that hardship, and even abuse is our own fault somehow. As I find myself in the midst of a very painful experience, I will literally spit in your face if you tell me I deserved it.
Yet when I sit down to face myself, I do realize in some very lucid moments how the material I was carrying in my body and mind, when I chose this experience, made me a match for it. Clearly, my Soul was drawing me toward something that would force me to clear and integrate this shit, one way or another.
This doesn’t mean we stay in toxic situations, with toxic people, but it does mean we do our best to grow in the way the manifested situation is calling us toward. In the ways our Soul may be calling us toward. Because if we don’t, we just run away and manifest the same fucking pattern in the next situation. That’s the deeper call isn’t it? Face ourselves as deeply as we can, in whatever circumstance we’ve manifested and grow through it as best we can, so that we can move toward something better next time?
So be grateful when what you think you want does not manifest in the ways you think you wanted. It’s an opportunity for growth and deeper clarity around what we truly do actually need.
This is the warrior path that many of us are on, whether we like it or not. Whether or not we have to be dragged, kicking and screaming at times, into these inner access points for healing, toward our Soul’s destiny.
That’s what I had to do late last week for a minute. I had to kick and scream, raise my fist at the Universe and say ‘FUCK YOU UNIVERSE”, until I realized again that it’s really as simple as turning inward and facing myself.
When I face myself and digest internal blockages, my external reality almost immediately reflects this to me in the form of momentum forward.
Love you! ❤️🔥